sheevfandomcom-20200213-history
Zek's Necromancy + Recipes
'HELLO THERE LOVELIES' Now, I know you have obviously visited this page because you have been wondering how I go about doing what I do. So, I decided to throw together a little information guide for all your necromancy and cooking needs! :) *'you will need a minimum of 23 children for this Once you have gathered these materials, feel free to eat any raw, left over parts of the children that may be laying around. Make sure to keep the hands in the freezer if you would like to save them for later. I will address how to properly cook children after the necromancy section, so make sure to keep reading. 'NECROMANCY TIME!!! Now I get to teach you one of my favorite parts; the making of undead children to hang out with you because you killed them and used their parts for food! Remember to follow each step very carefully. ''Necromancy is no easy task for anyone who is not a master. #If you haven't done so already, map out a suitable area for the ritual (7 by 7 ft is reccomended) #Dip the 3 skulls in the blood and set them out to dry for 15 minutes #Find the center point of the area you are planning to work in #Place the 3 skulls in a triangle around the center point, making sure they are all equidistant from eachother #Make a tight circle of candles outlining each skull (using the same number of candles per skull) #Scatter 60 individual eyelashes around the area - no need to be symmetrical here #Light all the candles #Stand at the edge of your designated area, and recite this ritual saying ' Spirit of Nocturnal, I call upon Thee Having taken a fresh bounty of lives I present to you their souls for sustenance In return, I ask one meager favor bestow me with playmates, for I am a lonely child of the night ' Following these steps exactly should cause 10 or so undead children to join you from a dimension unknown to commoners. Enjoy your time with them!!! (ps. they love playing tag) 'Famous Recipes: Finally Written Down''' Hello again! So nice of you to come visit! I have many different ways of preparing meals out of children, so I will supply you with my 2 favorite. RECIPE 1 - Toe Stew #Fill a large pot with 3 liters of blood - if you do not own a large enough pot, there are plenty in stock at Costco #Put the large pot on your stove, and set it to the highest possible temperature (you can also buy a large stove at Costco) #Leave the blood to boil for about 40 minutes - if it gets to boiling point before 40 min, move on to the next step #Turn the stove to the lowest heat setting #While gently stirring, pour in all pinky toes #Sprinkle in 12 individual eyelashes to add a bit of spice #Add 2 or 3 pelvic chunks depending on how thicc you want the broth #Chop up about 2 feet of large intestine and add it to the stew as well - vegans skip this part #Leave the stew to simmer for about 1 hour #Serve using a large ladle (also at Costco) - enjoy :) RECIPE 2 - Intestine Stir Fry # Grab a medium sized pan and put it on a large stove (highest setting) #Splash some blood onto the pan, which you will be using instead of oil #Chop up 20 feet of large intestine into thin pieces, and throw them on the pan #Slice 1 pound of skin into thin pieces, and sprinkle those in as well #Add more blood if needed #Feel free to add more skin, or intestines, if you plan on making more than on serving Note: You will have leftover unused ingredients from these recipes, but do not throw them out. Instead, store them in your basement freezer for future use.